If you’re the modest type or tend to get uncomfortable when the conversation of consensual sex comes up between a married couple, then this article isn’t for you. I’m telling you this now because I want you to have fair warning. As you get to know me, you’ll learn that I love to talk about these things all the time: Jesus, Motherhood, Marriage, Business, and Sex (not necessarily in that order). And though we won’t talk about all those things here on the blog all the time, you can expect to see some conversation about that three-letter word that every marriage could probably use more of.
How do I know you could use more of it? Because I know how busy our schedules get as we build our families and our businesses. And I know how physically and mentally draining it can be to try to manage life and business. So, when it comes to having the energy to “get it on” to the point where both of you feel satisfied, well this can be a challenge.
When you’ve been married for more than a few years and you also have children, sometimes you have to go through extra measures to make sure that your time in the bed is enjoyable for both of you. It’s easy to grow complacent and get bored with sex when you’re not spicing it up and trying new ways to please one another. And I know it’s not easy to focus on this all the time because you’re also focused on other areas of your life that take your time and energy. But pleasurable and healthy sex is an important ingredient for a marriage when you’re both physically and mentally healthy.
So, if you’re putting “getting it on” on the back burner, then consider this your notice to make physical intimacy more of a priority in your marriage. And one way you can do that is to spice things up in your bedroom.
Now my idea of spicing things up in my marriage may be very different than yours and that’s okay. That’s why this isn’t an article to tell you to try whipped cream or toys but to invite you to explore what would spice things up in your marriage. To do that, I’m asking both of you to make a list of things you really like that your spouse does in the bedroom. Now make a list of things you’d like to try. After you do that, schedule a time to sit down and go over your lists. Then commit to trying some of the new things that you both feel comfortable with. The key here is to respect one another’s comfort and to honor one another. And to also try something new or to do more of what you both really like. For example, if you really like it when you “get it on” in a certain position, then spice it up by doing more of that. Or if you want to try something new like playing music and dancing for your spouse in sexy lingerie then go for it. The goal is to spice it up by doing more of what you like and by also trying new things—you may like those things and want to do more and more of it.
Tell me, what do you do to keep things fun in the bedroom?